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When a child of 4 or 5 years old refutes what his father or mother tells him, it is not that he is impertinent, it is that he has personality and only wants to impose his criteria on others because he continues to believe that he is the center of the world and that he has the truth absolute.
At this age, arguing and disobeying is very common since they already have a lot of vocabulary and feel confident in their speech and want to get what they want in this way ... but they are not able to understand the logic. It is at this stage that parents must begin to deal with these situations correctly to avoid major conflicts as the children grow older.
Some circumstances in which a child argues and that can be quite common is when you have to put on your jackets in winter to go outside. An argumentative child will tell you that he is not cold and will fight not to put on his jacket, and the result of this situation is always an exasperated mother or father and a cold child.
Although this is a small example, fights and tantrums can be for any other reason (the best time to go to sleep, what you want and do not want for dinner, the time of the bath, etc.). In this sense, it is necessary to limit the discussions, and you can do it with some strategies to reduce these small conflicts at home, but how to achieve it?
- Keep calm. Even if your child challenges everything you say or do, getting angry is not the solution and can lead to a horrible power struggle or worse, your child may feel that he cannot count on you to express his feelings. If you notice that your emotions start to be negative, it is better that you leave the room and calm down by taking deep breaths. When you feel calm, you can handle the situation again.
- Establish standards. Your child will need to know that there are things at home that are not open to negotiation. Things like safety, not talking to strangers, holding your hand when crossing the street, etc., are things that cannot be discussed. The same goes for routines at home, they are unshakable and you cannot oppose them. For example, if your child tries to argue with you because you have turned off the television or tablet, do not enter into the discussion whether or not he should continue with it, simply give him the order 'go to the bathroom to brush your teeth'.
- System of points. If your child is very argumentative, the point system can be a great help. For example, if your child has a hard time getting up in the morning to go to school or brushing his teeth 3 times a day, then a point system will be ideal. If your child gets up every day on time or brushes his teeth 3 times, you can give him 1 point for each thing he does well and when he reaches 20 in the week (or whatever points you decide depending on what you want to achieve) You can choose an activity to do as a family, what to have breakfast or have a sweet at the bakery on the weekend ... you will be surprised by the results!
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